That is where this story begins - with a phone call confirming that I was feeling good and a stack of firewood in the back of Alan's car.
After the photo shoot, he picked me up and insisted we go back to my apartment to change and take off any makeup I had on. I thought he was being silly, but he was really being sweet (he knew I was going to cry).
He told me it was a surprise and drove us all the way out to an area by Lake Monroe called the cut-outs, where there were bonfire pits and trails that led up to a spot overlooking the woods on one side and the lake on the other.
We got to the fire pit and he started to make a fire. He got it going, with no help to me (who was just enjoying the good day and a wonderful man), and then we decided to watch the sun as it was going down from the top of the hill.
We hiked to the top and sat down for a while to take it in while another guy sitting up there drank his Starbucks, smoked a cigarette and checked his Facebook status, most likely. After the proposal, Alan told me that this was the place he was going to propose, but the bro was hanging out there and right before we decided to leave, a big group of people we knew walked up... totally unaware :)
We walked back down, played frisbee and sat down by the fire. He put his arm around me and I only thought of how nice this was to get away, enjoy the man God has given to me and enjoy God's creation. It was a beautiful night, the sun down by now, and you could see lights twinkling across the lake from apartments and condos on the other side.
He stood up and walked closer towards the lake, he held out his hand for me to join him and I did... entirely thinking "Oh Lord, he loves me so well :)"
Then he started the speech, which was something close to this:
"Sinikka, you have been so amazing to watch these last few weeks. It's been so tough and you've been so inspiring. I remember before college started, when we were sitting outside of Hums, you talked about how we would have ups and downs in college. It would be really hard but really good and a great adventure. This past month has been an adventure, and I want to be on this one with you for the rest of my life."
I smile, thinking "Oh Lorrdd, he loves me so well. Thank you for him!!!".
I turn about to say, "I love you t......".
He smiles and reaches for the small pocket on the right side of his flannel shirt.
My hands fly up to my mouth, tears form in the center of my eyes - big, huge tears.
He gets down on one knee, "Sinikka, will you marry me?"
My instant response... hands out, hands in, hands to mouth, hands down, hands on hips, tears in eyes - tears in eyes - tears in eyes.
"No way. No way. No way. No way. No way!"
I was so surprised.
I've never been surprised in life like that moment...
I went from having a good idea of why we were there... and in a split second... not knowing anything.
This was an earth-give-way gut response to a question I had been waiting what seemed forever for :)
He stood up, I barely noticed - I was still crying and couldn't see clearly.
"Oh, YES YES of Course!!!!"
He puts the ring on my finger, smiling, and we hug - I'm still crying.
I still don't feel like I know what's going on. Since the proposal a whirlwind of first decisions have settled at my feet - decisions I didn't know about a week ago and decisions I feel like I need to have the answer to.
But just like during the proposal when everything I knew flipped... the Lord is continually teaching me that I don't have to know everything or have it all under my control - and that I can't.
Keep up with me during this awesome adventure :) I'll keep blogging along the way and prayerfully the Lord will see us through to the wedding day - where I am sure I will be crying again.