I met with my Sunday School teacher, Lee Boone, who happened to ask me if I had even established myself at IU Bloomington, with time with God and time in quiet. I had never done this, due to the fact that it was more difficult to find a place, since my roommate was generally always in the room, and the people on my floor talked a lot. It seemed that there was no rest, which really made me negative in many different ways. It also brought me into a place where I was clinging to God everyday, moving step by step, but not much more than that. He was working through situations and people, such as Gospel Choir, my work (The Career Development Center), Red Door Church, Campus Crusades for Christ, and the really great Christian friends I've met along the way throughout the last two semesters.
Coming home now though, I've had to sort through these emotions, depression, and fear that has sifted into my heart. One night this past week, the Lord really woke me up to understanding why it is that I continued to deal with depression and fear. It was because I had forgotten I had PURPOSE!
I had forgotten the TRUTH. It had sifted its way to the back of my mind while so many things were going on, so that I was unable to even process that this fact had affected me. I had been continuing throughout the semesters to do routines, mundane activities, to do lists, and tons of work. I woke up with depression because I felt I was expendable. I woke up with fear, because I felt that I would easily be taken advantage of, and that the enemy was after me... which he was.
But so was the Lord.
When I realized this, I went back to His Word to remember the truth.
Jeremiah 29:11, "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."
I remembered that my purpose in life was to move closer to Him, and to bring His kingdom here through being His Hands and Feet, and LIVE IN THE resurrection so people could see that the LORD is KING!
Now, even though I am still waking up and doing mundane tasks, to do lists, and tiny detail oriented tasks... I know that this is for His glory. That in this world, we are to work, and we have a purpose through this simple work (which the Lord reflects Himself in... since He is simple as well). For it is in the simple work that we see the Lord the most, because He takes the simple things and makes them HUGE! like fundraising, or all of the little tasks of keeping a house up to date... or selling things on craigslist to make money. He is Here!
And we have Purpose :)