and said, "Good morning God. Thank you for the sun. It's chilly out,.... but I see you :)"
And started talking to Him again. it's been a couple weeks.
What inspired this conversation that led to a couple different conversations with him, help with my Finnish Oral Exam- which went well, I think- and motivation to study well and also take time out for Him and this blog- was a book my mom gave me a while back that I just haven't peeled back the covers to yet- called The Tryst.
It's about intimacy within your relationship with God and your relationship with your partner/boyfriend/girlfriend. And that, in tune with The Helper book I found at Goodwill... is taking me on a whirlwind adventure of confirming again and again, of who I am- WHO GOD IS- and finally... not only seeing Him as God.
but as my lover.
I looked up at him yesterday, and FELT His love run through my body, the warmth, comfort, and inspiration to love others- that's the Spirit.
and something I've been totally forgetting about in my relationship with Him (probably due to busyness, thoughts of how the Old Testament people saw God, and how Catholicism seems to me to make God seem far away... even though it's probably just me).
The Tryst goes into how in relationships, we need to be intellectually, emotionally, and physically intimate.
So yesterday chapter was about how it is not feelings that you want to base your love off of- but it is those feelings that inspire you to move, grow, and change
Go God! That The Helper, is talking exactly on the same line--- of connecting with God's love, and FALLING IN LOVE WITH HIM. and talking to Him throughout the day.
The Blue Book I'm reading about with the Catholics in St. Paul's church is actually taking a different aspect (Thank you for well-rounding me, Father) in order to prepare myself (like those in the Old Testament did) in honor of preparing their heart and the way for the Saviour to come. and although Jesus was most likely not born around Christmastime, and the big reason that the Catholic church placed Christmas on December 25th was because it used to be a big pagan holiday- which it still is-... there's still deep meaning, love, and truth throughout the Christmas holiday- with the Holy Spirit inspiring and motivating people to do good things and go beyond.
But I want this everyday of the year... so this December- like last December- God is taking me on a journey to start off the rest of my year...
Last year the lesson was how to truly LOVE.
this year. it's on the Holy Spirit.
and is already pulling into my life.
I want to be the best, the fullest, the most meaningful, the deepest. with God -in order to impact and love and truly be the person He calls me to be down here in IU Bloomington.
And just tonight, I was realizing how important it is that both Alan and I are on this same track to be our closest with God, falling in love, and in tune with His Spirit- because without those two things, we can make no difference- people just see a great couple. But God brought us down for a much bigger reason than just Marching Hundred or classes.
Alan and I could've taken classes anywhere- God has us here for a specific reason. this year- next year. all four years if He wants us to stay here for all four years.
So Lord, thank you for inspiring me again, igniting passions inside of me, and reminding me throughout my finals that you are here with me and moving among the people at IU Bloomington- and reminding me that I am not here for grades or tests- I am here to do Your Will. Whether that be reaching out to the Bloomington community, or getting much deeper in love and truth with both You and Alan. or learn silently and quietly about the Holy Spirit- igniting flames to start fires here at IUB.
Then let it be.
Let's go, God. Fill me up so I can pour out.
Thank you for Christmas, for Alan, for my beautiful family, and for all my opportunities, resources, and skills- USE THEM, Father.
- Psalm 91 -